I came across this blurry photo recently and cried. I remember when it was taken. I remember what was happening in our lives and I cried because of what we went through and how much I miss Austin now. On April 1 last year, it was as though someone hit pause on our lives.… Continue reading This Time Is Different
I have been angry at God. I have not wanted His will. And I have been wrestling with Him for many years now. Through unexplained illness and an unthinkable diagnosis, I fought the Lord. In the prodding of too many needles, bad test results and needless suffering, I have questioned Him. I have wondered where… Continue reading Wrestling with God and Grief
Sunday morning, I weaved my way through the crowd and found my seat up front. Late as always, worship was already in full swing. The words of the second congregational song filled my ears . . . Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death Your perfect love is casting out… Continue reading Caught in the Middle
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28 ESV In Christian circles, this verse gets thrown around a lot – especially when something bad happens and we don’t understand why. It feels like anytime a Christian asks… Continue reading Not What You Expected
“For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh.” 2 Corinthians 4:11 ESV I recently watched a movie where the hero’s family is trapped inside a burning skyscraper. In one scene, amongst the flames and burning… Continue reading Brave Enough to be Broken
I shared this on my Facebook page this morning, but it just felt too good not to share here. For me, because I want to remember this day and these truths. And for others, because my heart feels like I might explode if I don’t tell as many people as I can. So they might… Continue reading Greater Than the Fire
“But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.” 2 Corinthians 4:7 ESV It’s been ages since I sat down to a blank screen and tried to write something, so please forgive me if I am a little rusty. I think I… Continue reading My Hope Isn’t in a Cure
Last week, while I was waiting for Austin to finish his MRI, I chatted with one of my favs. As a child life specialist she sees all the things and this day had been especially challenging. We talked about how cancer doesn’t have a preference — it effects all kinds of people and families. And… Continue reading Two Reasons I Didn’t Quit
Luke 2:19 ESV [19] But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart. In this season, these words resonate with me more than ever before. 2017 was one of (if not THE) longest/hardest years of our lives, and I can’t begin to know what 2018 will bring. Learning of Austin’s relapse and… Continue reading A Time for Quiet
Day 9: July 27, 2017 Growing up, I learned to speak “Christianese” as a second language. In fact, by the time I made it through elementary school, I’m certain I was fluent in it. Words like salvation, justification and sanctification were all part of the norm. The phrase “and it came to pass” rings with… Continue reading When It Doesn’t Come to Pass
